Child Sexual Abuse — A Survivor Shares

Trigger Warning: This article discusses sensitive and potentially distressing topics related to sexual abuse of a child. It may be triggering or unsettling for some readers, especially those who have experienced sexual abuse or assault. Please take care of yourself while reading, and consider pausing or seeking support if needed. 

This post is shared by a survivor of Child Sexual Abuse. We thank him for using his voice to provide education about the realities of abuse, so that we can learn to prevent and respond well.

"What is child sexual abuse?

“Childhood sexual abuse is a form of child abuse that includes sexual activity with a minor.  A child cannot consent to any form of sexual activity, period. (Emphasis mine) When a perpetrator engages with a child this way, they are committing a crime that can have lasting effects for years.” (https://rainn.org/articles/child-sexual-abuse)  

I can attest to these “lasting effects.”  For 50 years I have struggled with the abuse and will, I am sure, to the grave. 

My 6th grade teacher was 41 years of age when she took it upon herself to attack an innocent child. 

I was an unsuspecting, trusting 11-year-old boy when the 2 year long grooming stage began.

I was 13 years old when my teacher first raped me. 

She was 43 years of age when she committed 1st degree criminal sexual conduct against me and murdered my person.

What is it like to be murdered? 

Who can answer that question? 

It’s not possible to ask the murdered person “So what’s it like?” for obvious reasons – they’re dead!  They cannot answer.

What is it like to be sexually abused? 

I can answer because I am still alive, but it’s like being murdered. 

The boy who entered the 6th grade at 11 years of age is gone, he was murdered by his Christian school teacher.  My ego (my “I”, my “self”) was destroyed through 6 years of sexual abuse of the worst kind.  The person writing this now has been drastically changed and is not the person that I would have been if my 6th grade teacher had not been a hard-core pedophile.

The crime committed in my case is criminal sexual conduct in the first degree: MCL-Section 750.520b (https://www.legislature.mi.gov/Laws/MCL?objectName=MCL-750-520B#:~:text=520b.,under%2013%20years%20of%20age.)  

My Christian school teacher is guilty of this crime because she did engage in sexual penetration with another person when the following circumstances did exist:

• That other person is at least 13 but less than 16 years of age and the following:

• The actor is in a position of authority over the victim and used this authority to coerce the victim to submit.

• The actor is a teacher, substitute teacher, or administrator of the public school, nonpublic school, school district, or intermediate school district in which that other person is enrolled.

First degree CSC is punishable by up to life in prison or for any term of years.  Take notice here! The civil legislators completely understand the damage sexual abuse has on victims and sentences perpetrators to the same degree of punishment as one who physically murders another person.  My abuser never had to answer for her crimes in a court of law.  My abuser was never placed under Christian discipline and therefore considered a “member in good standing” in every church she attended.  

There is much more to my experience. In future posts I will write about grooming, tactics of abusers, and trauma.”

Child sexual abuse is real. It is a danger, and there is help.

To speak with an advocate please call (616) 259-0130 or email us at sahelp@havenofmercypr.org

For immediate assistance contact RAINN at (800) 656-4673 or your local child advocacy center https://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/nca-members/