EDUCATION

Sexual abuse can be defined as: “any sexual activity – verbal, visual, or physical – engaged in without consent.” Sexual abuse occurs whenever a person – child or adult – is sexually exploited by an older or more powerful person for the satisfaction of the abuser’s desires; including verbal (lewd comments, inappropriate discussions), visual (exposure to pornography, exhibitionism, or voyeurism), and physical (forced, simulated, exposure of victim’s body to others) (Diane Langberg, On the Threshold of Hope). Sexual assault is any type of sexual behavior or contact where consent is not freely given or obtained and is accomplished through force, intimidation, violence, coercion, manipulation, threat, deception, or abuse of authority. Sexual assault occurs when a nonconsensual sexual act or behavior is committed either by 1) physical force, violence, threat, manipulation, or intimidation; 2) ignoring the objections of another person; 3) causing another’s intoxication or impairments through the use of drugs or alcohol; or 4) taking advantage of another person’s incapacitation, state of intimidation, helplessness, or another inability to consent (Justin & Lindsey Holcomb, Rid of My Disgrace). Sexual abuse/assault happens in every religion, class, and race of people. Sexual abusers include men and women, pastors, teachers, coaches, husbands, wives, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, or family friends. Perpetrators of sexual abuse are often well-respected in the community, living a life of deceit. Victims include boys and girls, men and women. Some come from stable and loving homes, and some come from broken homes. The impact of sexual abuse on victims is severe and often long-term. Sexual abuse causes trauma and life-long consequences in body, mind, and soul. Sexual abuse is not a one-time event that gets forgotten. Sexual abuse is the crime and sin of the offender, not of the victim. All of the guilt and shame of sexual abuse are the offenders’. Sexual abuse and sexual assault are murder, a sin against the 6th commandment (see Heidelberg Catechism, Lord’s Day 40, Q&A 105-107), and a crime punishable by the magistrate. Sexual abuse and assault are also a sin against the 7th commandment (see Heidelberg Catechism, Lord’s Day 41, Q&A 108-109). What was done to you is not your shame, and does not define you. Asking for help is wise and courageous. HAVEN’s members are committed to helping you confidentially and compassionately; with the desire for you to not only survive what has been done to you, but to understand the trauma and overcome it. HAVEN was formed by men and women who were victims of sexual abuse, loved ones of victims, and those who care deeply for victims wounded by this horrific crime and sin. HAVEN’s members are committed to offering help to victims and their families. HAVEN’s members are not counselors; rather, we are advocates and educators, offering hope and help, compassion, encouragement, and resources as we seek to obey the second of the great commands of God to love our neighbor as ourselves. Whether you came to us for help or for resources, it is our hope and prayer that we can provide you with the help, hope and education that you seek. Finally, we ask that you remember HAVEN in your prayers, that God will be pleased to bless others through our work. 1 Corinthians 1:3-5 “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.”