Have you wondered what an advocate is and why you need one? What do they do? Or maybe what they don’t do?
Where does an advocate fit in with the church?
How do they help?
This may seem like a new concept, but it’s not. It dates back to the early church and even to the ancient days of the Bible.
Grounds for Advocacy
Scripture:
Isaiah 1:17: “Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.”
Proverbs 31:8-9: “ Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.”
Jesus himself is our advocate. I John 2:1: “My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:”
He himself came and cared for those in need. He tended to their wounds, opened their eyes, and helped them to find hope and safety. His compassion always caused him to act. He came near to them and wept with them.
Why were they in such despair? Sin, of course. He shows us how to care for those in need, especially by his Incarnation. He didn’t save us from afar but gave up Heaven for us and came to earth in our human flesh. He doesn’t shirk away from our dirty, messy lives, but he intercedes on our behalf. The idea of an intercessor is one who mediates between two parties, bringing them together.
Advocacy is similar but has the idea of aligning oneself with another. They don’t simply stand in between the two parties but step over and join the one party as he approaches the other.
All those in Christ have someone speaking for them on their behalf.
When you sin, remember your legal standing before God because of the work of Christ, but remember also your advocate before God because of the heart of Christ. He rises up and defends your cause based on the merits of his own suffering and death.
Out of this beautiful truth of who Christ is and the good news of the Gospel, we grow to look more and more like him. He uses us to show his heart to each other, in this case, by advocating for the lost, the hurt, and the oppressed.
Van Dellen and Monsma:
Flowing out of the love of Jesus and his church, we also see that the churches from the past acknowledged the good and proper use of advocates. Church order commentary writers Van Dellen and Monsma (3rd Edition) explained the use of advocates in the following church order articles.
Church Order: Article 31 - “It should also be noted here that the Reformed churches of former years have always permitted an appellant to explain and defend his position by another, called een mond, ie. a mouth.”
Church Order: Article 73 point 3 “During the 16th and 17th centuries those under suspicion and under charge were even permitted to bring someone to talk for them, someone to be his advocate. There can be no objections against this practice. There is much in its favor. Sometimes the accused party has but little ability to state his own case clearly. Sometimes those under accusation are too nervous or agitated to present their case in a desirable fashion. Therefore as long as the representatives of those accused are reliable, and sincere Christians who aim to give a fair representation of the facts and who agree to abide by the rules of the assembly - consistory, classis, or synod, whichever the case may be - then there is no objection."
These two articles show that it has always been the spirit of the churches to allow advocates or helpers. This is not something to look at from a skeptical perspective or as a threat to one's power but as the right of the church member. This is a good practice.
What is an Advocate?
An advocate is one who is close beside and comes to another's aid. They aid, assist, guide in truth, provide strength as a companion, and lead to the source, Jesus Christ. They walk with victims and speak the truth about God and the victim's situation.
Myths or Misconceptions:
Advocates make things more complicated: "You're just getting another person involved." - As you read about the role of an advocate, you will start to understand why having one is so important. Not having an advocate can lead to misunderstandings and hurtful decisions, even if well intended.
If a victim is confused or needs help, they can get clarification or help from their elder committee. - This could possibly happen, but time and time again, we see that victims have a hard time doing this. There are many reasons, but having an advocate to talk to and help sort through information is good. She has another person who has heard the same information. Many victims are so nervous they don't always remember what was said. Most consistories do not have the time to handhold a victim through this process.
Abuse is a marriage problem. - Wrong! Abuse causes problems in a marriage, but it is not a marriage problem. There is a difference between two immature adults whose situation escalates into violence and one who uses power and control over another. We will show in this section how crucial an advocate is in helping to decide between the two.
It always takes two. - This follows the previously mentioned myth. It takes two willing parties to fix a marriage; it takes two willing parties to live in covenant fellowship in a marriage, but it only takes one to destroy a marriage. One person cannot fix the problem, but one person can cause the problem.
What does an advocate NOT do?
Advocates do NOT counsel or provide therapy. HAVEN advocates do not tell victims what to do. They do not make choices for them.
Advocates do NOT attack those who get it wrong. We are not attacktivists.
Advocates do NOT blame the victim or infer she was responsible for her abuse.
Advocates do NOT rescue victims. Victims have a Savior and need to be brought to Him.
What they do: Walking Alongside Domestic Abuse Victims
Advocates are part of a team of people who care for victims of abuse.
Domestic Abuse or Coercive Control is a widespread problem, way bigger than just the church. The church's work is the most important, and it is the way Christ roots out and deals with sin.
Along with the important work of dealing with the sin of abuse is the continued care of the victim. The church is a rich resource for helping victims with their practical needs and providing the rich spiritual truths they need. But there is a team aspect.
Think of a team of doctors. They all have a specialty and place needed for individual care. They are all working for the same goals.
This is the same for a victim of abuse. She needs a team.
Advocates
The church
counselors/therapists
Informed family and friends
Experts to work with the abuser
We will focus specifically on the advocate's work in this team of people.
The Role of an Advocate: A Case Manager and a Friend
Advocates help victims identify patterns, pick up clues, draw out stories, and even help determine if the behavior is abuse.
Advocates encourage victims to find their voice and begin making their own decisions. Victims are provided with options to choose from but are not told to what to choose. They have had their voices stolen, and they need to be empowered and given control back.
Most oppressed women feel unworthy, unlovable, dirty, defiled, crazy, and alone. Advocates will listen and will unendingly, patiently, and tirelessly bring truth and hope.
Advocates help develop a safety plan, gather evidence and document the abuse, and meet with other team members to address the victim's concerns.
They are great listeners and facilitators.
In the initial conversations, an advocate may ask important questions to assess the victim’s needs:
Does your family know what’s happening? Do you want support in telling them?
Have you received any paperwork from the court? Do you understand what it means?
Are you safe at home, or do you need temporary housing?
How are your finances? Should we contact the deacons for assistance?
Have you spoken with your pastor or elders?
How are your children? Do their teachers or counselors need to be informed?
Do you need legal assistance?
But advocacy doesn’t stop at asking questions. Advocates help shoulder the burden by:
Gathering contact information for necessary resources
Helping compose emails and organize paperwork
Arranging and attending meetings for support
Ensuring victims don’t feel overwhelmed and alone
Offering practical support like meals, childcare, or errands
In summary, advocacy stands up for victims' rights and needs.
An advocate brings in the victim's life and experiences. They stand in the gap for those who are hurting and offer information only available through communication with the victim.
This series is written by a HAVEN domestic abuse advocate.
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