You might be wondering “What does a Sexual Abuse advocate with Haven actually do?” We hear so much about it lately but yet we don’t know who these advocates are and what their role actually is. Some other questions might be “Why would someone want an advocate from Haven to help them?” “What steps do I take if I feel that I need the help of an advocate?” "Can I help?" If these are your thoughts and opinions, please read further. We get these questions often and would love to share more.
A SA advocate has a slightly different role than a Domestic Abuse Advocate; this article is going to speak specifically to the experience of a SA (sexual abuse) advocate.
This is a compilation of personal experiences of one of our SA advocates.
"I became an advocate with Haven because of a heartfelt love for victims of this type of abuse, and a desire to help them. I have had the honor of helping a few young women navigate their way through this heartbreakingly difficult journey of disclosure of abuse. When someone contacts us for help at Haven, the request goes to our intake coordinator and he/she reaches out to the advocate they feel would be a good fit for the need of the individual requesting help. The advocate then reaches out and the conversation begins.
Personally, I like to ask the survivor what she is comfortable doing, shall we meet at a coffee shop? Or would you prefer a more quiet, discreet place? If so, we meet at our Haven office. I let her know she may bring anyone she feels comfortable with along to our first meeting. We talk and get to know each other a little bit, and I let her decide when she feels ready to start talking about the hard stuff. I reassure her that everything is kept in complete confidence. I also remind her that I’m not a professional counselor or therapist, but I’m here for her, to guide her through the process of disclosing abuse, and getting the help she might need along the way.
There are a variety of ways in which I have been able to help, including helping to gather, compile and organize information. I also help her keep a detailed record of the abuse that occurred. Sometimes I simply reach out by way of a text message sharing a favorite bible verse for encouragement. There have been times when a small gift was given as a means of encouragement. I will meet and talk with the victim’s elders and deacons, assisting in helping her get the financial help she needs for the cost of therapy, from her deacons. I have had amazing help from some of our deacons who were more than willing to help out in such a way. May God be praised in this! I strongly feel that helping victims in this manner is praiseworthy. Our Haven advocates have had positive and encouraging interactions with our consistories. Praise be to God."
Why would someone want help from Haven?
Maybe you are not sure about what to do with the reality of what has happened to you. Maybe you have a friend who has endured an unspeakable offense and you don’t know how to get help or who to talk to. Maybe you’re a teacher and wish you had resources in which to help a student who has disclosed abuse to you. Maybe you feel ashamed about the trauma you have endured and don’t really know which way to turn. Maybe you’re a mother whose teenage daughter has confided in you an incident of abuse, and you don’t know how to help.
Haven consists of Protestant Reformed believers who have a love for victims of abuse, and quite possibly a little more knowledge as to what legal advice or professional therapy you might need. Haven advocates can go with you, if you wish to talk to the consistory about the matter. Haven has an abundance of resources we can use to get you the help that you need. We will be your educated friend, and help you find the healing you need.
What steps are involved if I feel I need to speak to an advocate?
Please reach out to us on our website
by email,
or call us at (616) 259-0130
Everything is kept discreet. Even though you reach out to talk, it doesn’t mean that you are starting the process of disclosure. That is totally up to you, and we always encourage and remind you that you are in the driver’s seat when it comes to your situation. We are here to walk alongside of you as a support system.
How Can I Help?
Do you have a heart for the hurting and a desire to walk alongside those navigating the pain of sexual abuse? Advocates provide a vital source of strength and guidance for survivors, offering a listening ear, encouragement, and practical help. If you feel called to stand in the gap for those in need, consider becoming an advocate with Haven.
We are especially seeking advocates who can serve within the Protestant Reformed churches—people who know the community and can offer compassionate, informed support to those in need. However, abuse knows no boundaries, and neither does the need for advocacy. If you have an interest in walking with survivors and helping them find strength and hope, we would love to hear from you.
Visit our website to learn more, or reach out to us at sahelp@havenofmercypr.org. Your willingness to step forward can make a life-changing difference.
In Christ Alone,
Sarah Windemuller
A HAVEN SA Advocate
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